i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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