It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
its liver damage thursday
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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