# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
