Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
