i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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