for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
