This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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