I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize