marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm at about main and main street
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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