if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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