I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
