drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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