Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
