google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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