Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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