Just cropdusted the office
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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