Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
