so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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