i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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