I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
