Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
