Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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