Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
