You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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