I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
