Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
