everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
