i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
