come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
