Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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