Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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