well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize