blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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