its not stalking. its research.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
