would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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