So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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