So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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