I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
