I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize