I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Found the puke drawer
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
