he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We need to get me chipped asap
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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