No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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