I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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