do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
