I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
