u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I skipped work to stalk him.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
