so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
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Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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