i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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