Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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