Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
