I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize