I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
