Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
