why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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