the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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