Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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