Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
