Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
