Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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