Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
