I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
